Jeepers Creepers...When Bad Names Happen To Good Movies

Lets be honest…a stupid name can mean bad news for good people. In further establishing himself as the George Castanza of our group, my friend Kevin once refused to date a cute girl because she had a terrible name. Hell, I’ve always been a pretty popular and personable guy, and even I had to endure an entire summer of David Hamm calling me “Mike Monzeeter with the millimeter peter” when I was a kid, which used to piss me off even though "Monzeeter" is nowhere even close to my last name.

Anyway, I never saw Jeepers Creepers because I always avoid movies that are named after baby talk. That was a mistake, because this movie was on time.



As you can tell from the picture above, Jeepers Creepers stars David Schwimmer and Drea De Matteo, who were on a road trip, probably to go visit Joey. About 10 minutes into the movie they get run off the road by a creepy old truck and bad things begin to happen. Now that I think about it, the same truck ran them off the road two more times later in the movie…it was like they were always stuck in second gear.

My favorite thing about the Jeepers Creepers Creeper, as we'll call him, is that he really doesn't care who sees him. You know how most horror movie monsters lurk in the shadows? The Jeepers Creepers monster knows he's so bad-ass that he justs walks right up to a car in the middle of a well-lit gas station full of patrons. And why does he do it? To make a kill? No. To feed on brains? Nope. To sniff underwear. Man...that takes balls.

Anyway, this movie’s got more scary shit than a Taco Bell restroom. It didn’t beat your senses into submission like the new Chainsaw Massacre, and is was nowhere near as creepy as The Ring, The Others, or other “top-shelf” horror of the time. Still, it didn’t try to be anything it wasn’t, but it knew just what it was, and it delivered in good old-fashioned monster-movie manner. That’s why I give Jeepers Creepers 3 ½ Jason heads. Plus the chick in it was hot and my friend Kevin would probably totally date her.

Unless, of course, her name ended up being something like “Cocktease McHerpes.”

Tomorrow's Review: "THE OMEN!!"